Artwork: SLEEP by Lyia Meta
Caution: This post may be unsettling for some, as it delves into the impact of life's impermanence, highlighting the importance of cherishing each moment and living life to the fullest. It also discusses the challenges of adapting to sudden changes and coping with loss, ultimately reminding us to embrace life, show compassion, and make the most of our time, even in the face of uncertainties.
Life often reminds us of its fleeting nature, sometimes in unexpected ways. Having attended more wakes, funerals and memorial services than weddings, I've been deeply affected by this reality. Each funeral serves as a poignant reminder of life's impermanence and the importance of seizing each day. This experience has instilled in me a sense of urgency, a feeling that time is slipping away. Witnessing the departure of loved ones underscores life's fragility and the unpredictability of our time on Earth.
Every person we've lost had dreams, plans for the future, to-do lists, goals, family, and a life they wanted to explore further. Their sudden departures highlight that we are all living on borrowed time. While this reflection may seem somber, its purpose is not to dwell in sadness but to urge us to embrace life fully and do good whenever possible. It reminds us to cherish each moment, for we never know when it will be our last.
The very first song I wrote was titled She's Searching, but the second song that I put to paper was titled CHANGE. Over the years, its been a recurring theme that's found itself time and again into my subconscious. Change is an unavoidable aspect of life, often arriving abruptly and with significant impact. Whether it stems from the unexpected loss of a loved one or a major life shift, change forces us to adapt in unforeseen ways. Despite my partner Zack's persistent reminders to prepare for such events, the truth remains that true preparation is impossible. Emotions are delicate and cannot be controlled or regulated to anticipate grief or loss. Even when we anticipate change or loss, its reality can be overwhelming. The suddenness or magnitude of the event can leave us disoriented, struggling to find our footing in a new reality. Some losses leave a deep mark, shaping our experiences and perspectives for years to come.
In the face of change and loss, there's a temptation to bury our grief under the busyness of daily life, engaging in work, hobbies, and social activities to distract ourselves from the pain. However, the truth is, the pain lingers beneath the surface, serving as a constant reminder of what once was. Loss is a transformative experience that can change how we see the world, influencing our priorities and values, and increasing our empathy towards others' pain. Despite the challenges, it also has a silver lining. It made me appreciate life more, inspiring me to live more intentionally, reflect on my identity and purpose, and foster personal growth. However, the reminders of past joys are always particularly challenging for me. I grieve every day, yet I also love and live my life to the fullest. I am fully aware of this incredibly delicate balance, held together by gossamer threads that remind me every day of its fragility.
If you've experienced loss, know that your grief is valid. It's okay to take the time you need to mourn. Your loved one was a significant part of your life, and the memories you shared will always be a part of you. Honor those memories and allow yourself the space to grieve.
I have lost many close friends, relatives, a parent, and a sibling. Someone once asked me why I did not cry at my brother’s funeral. I did, I just didn't find the need to shed my tears for the world to see. Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience. I grieve his loss every day and still feel his absence so acutely after all these years.
Life is a delicate blessing, given to us without the assurance of tomorrow. We have been given a single opportunity to live it genuinely, without apologies or regrets, brimming with potential as we pursue our aspirations, love unreservedly, and express gratitude for the life we have. My goal is to leave behind a legacy that mirrors my most authentic self. I owe it to myself and the memory of those I have lost and who are still dear to me.
Song: Memorabilia by Lyia Meta
Released: April 2024
Single
Written by Mary Ann Heimann