The phrase "having your cake and eating it too" implies wanting to enjoy two mutually exclusive benefits at the same time. In the context of balancing multiple roles like being a full-time mom and a professional artist, this phrase often suggests that you can’t successfully manage both without compromising one. What do you think? How many of us juggle different roles in our lives and excel at all? Hmmm...shall we debunk this myth?
Breaking it down
Myth.
You Can't Be a Successful Professional and a Devoted Parent Simultaneously
Reality.
You can pursue a fulfilling career and be a devoted parent(note, devoted and not perfect), but it requires strategic planning, realistic expectations, and the willingness to make adjustments along the way. From outside looking in, this may seem to be a breeze for those already juggling many roles but the magic really lie in the balance!
Compromise and Prioritization
What I have been told.
Excelling in one area means failing in another.
Reality....
Hah! Totally disagree! To begin with, not everyone is given an option. I personally juggle close to 7 major roles a day. We are so often required to juggle many roles out of necessity It’s about finding a balance that works for you. I have found that prioritizing tasks based on urgency and importance works best. Always know that there will be days that one role may need more attention than the others. Success is not about doing everything perfectly, but about managing your time and energy effectively. Again, it's all about the balance.
Support System
What I know.
You have to do it all alone. Hahaha! Yes, you do and you have to smile while doing it.
Reality.
Building a strong support system is crucial. Whether it's family, friends, or professional help, having support allows you to focus on what matters most in each moment. I have been blessed with an amazing partner whose primary goal is to see me excel in all I do. So I've never had the lack of support from home but sometimes, one needs more than that... and emotional equilibrium is just as crucial in this. Don’t hesitate to ask for help or delegate tasks when needed.
Quality Over Quantity
What I believe in...
Hmm, I always aim for quality over quantity, and while some believe that more time spent yields better results, I disagree.
Because my reality is .....
It’s quality of time that counts. Focus on being present and engaged in both your professional and personal life. Short, meaningful interactions can be more impactful than long periods of distracted time. I took a long time to learn this. So don't be hard on yourself. It's always a learning process.
Self-Care is Essential
You may have heard this, I know I have!
“Taking time for yourself is selfish and unproductive.” Well, I guess we all need to be selfish and unproductive in this department as often as we can!
What I believe.
Self-care is vital for sustaining your energy and well-being. By taking care of yourself, you ensure that you can give your best to both your career and your family. Self-care practices can include anything from regular exercise and healthy eating to hobbies and relaxation.....I have these worked intro my routines! And if you're like me, I have my stash of chocolate!
Flexibility and Adaptability
I've been told....
Success requires a rigid, unchanging routine and a regimented lifestyle. Hmmmm...
This doesn't work for me at all!
My reality.
While I maintain a very regimented schedule (out of personal preference), I also believe in being spontaneous and embracing the unpredictable. Being adaptable helps me navigate unexpected challenges without feeling overwhelmed. I constantly adjust my plans and expectations as needed.
Redefining Success
What I was led to believe.
Success means achieving perfection in all areas. Hah! Fat chance!
Because the reality is....
Far from it! Success is a personal and evolving concept. Define what success looks like for you at different stages of your life. It’s okay for your priorities and definitions of success to change over time. Mine did! And it is still evolving!
Embrace Imperfection
Don't give attention to that little voice in your head!
For me, perfection lies in the imperfections. I don’t believe anyone can achieve the kind of perfection we see in movies and read in books. We are human. We only fail when we stop trying. Striving to become a better version of yourself every day is more than enough. Stop, smell the roses and give yourself a pat on the back. Because chances are, no one will! Or be like me....have some chocolate!
Because the reality is....
WE LIVE IN AN IMPERFECT WORLD with a civilization that's charming but flawed. Mistakes and setbacks are opportunities for growth and improvement. WE JUST LEARN. LIFE IS A LEARNING PROCESS. If we fail our lessons, we have redo them all over. So, learn them well.....and move on.
Conclusion
The idea that you can’t "have your cake and eat it too" is an outdated notion that doesn’t reflect the complexities and possibilities of modern life. I have always juggled multiple roles, and while I can't say I've achieved perfect results, I've definitely learned to manage and grow through the process. Everything is doable, achievable, and definitely rewarding. By prioritizing, seeking support, focusing on quality, practicing self-care, being flexible, redefining success, and embracing imperfection, you can successfully balance multiple roles and find fulfillment in both your professional and personal life. It’s not about having everything at once, but about creating a harmonious and sustainable balance that works for you. And if you're still figuring things out, don't worry, trust the process. It always takes you where you should be. For someone who has always desired to know the end of a story before even finishing the first chapter, this is a remarkable achievement! Trust the process and let it guide you through a beautiful (and sometimes less beautiful) journey. Have faith that it has your best interests at heart, and you'll feel the burden you've been carrying lighten.
SAVOR ME
From the album: Always You
Words and music by : Denise Dimin
Artist: Lyia Meta
Produced by Bob McGilpin and Lyia Meta
Coproduced by Gene Rabbai
Released in June of 2023
Video produced by Lyia Meta
Featuring "The Dancing Economist"-
Andrea Zsapka
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